1. |
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5th cup of coffee
First meal of the day
Just home from work
But the feeling doesn’t go away
11 11
Getting closer to hell
There’s a burning right behind my eyelids
I think my throat is beginning to swell
I’m not doing so good right now
I’m not really feeling like myself
these hands
are my mother's hands but scarred
i say as if hers aren't
reading the same life lines
26 years apart
our homemade bloodstained art
incongruent counterparts
complimentary neuroses
can you believe we've made it this far?
----
Gotta get my coffee before I can open the door
Have you ever asked who these lyrics are for?
I’d like to say they’re for me
But listening back I really can’t agree
Wear my cum stained jammies as I sip my drink
Gotta guilt myself into moving or else I’ll just
Sit and think and that’s not good
Cause that’ll lead to me talking
Shower, shave, and slip on all my pretensions
Have you ever played with your genre conventions?
Like the world is just yours to fuck
Like your narrative comes before the people you love
Feel my stats go up from the clothes I put on
I fictionalise everything that goes wrong
Into this neat little meta where I can game
All my problems away
Apparently I’ve got OCD
So don't talk to me
I’d like to say I’m trying
But is this what trying feels like?
A bullshit timesink roguelike?
I don’t know
So don't talk to me
I'd like to say I'm living
But is this what living feels like?
A barren hardcore soulslike?
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2. |
Pain Is A Visual
03:32
|
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i can't see your face cause it's pressed against theirs
how long before you have to come up for air
i hold my breath along with you
just like a sister ought to do
arbitrary solidarity
rather than a chat
tell myself that you wouldn't listen
or that I don't have all the facts
but i have something you don't have
and i know something that you don't
pain is a visual
but i can tell your eyes are closed
this doesn't seem like the first time
but it's one of the first few
lasts way to long to be something that you're used to
your live studio audience friends scream
"you are valid" and "fabulous"
i guess welcome to the show
have a drink on us
but i know something you don't know
and i got something you don't have
pain is a visual
but you can hear the aftermath
when i get stressed enough
i throw up
so when i say you make me sick
i mean that's just the way my body is
and when i get scared enough
i get clingy
so if i tell you that i love you
i mean you really need to listen to me
there are a million different reasons why you should leave this one be
there are a million fucking reasons why I'm getting this angy
there are a hundred million reasons for me to up and leave
but it looks like i'm staying here til morning
pain is a visual
the aftermath is audible
cringe but relatable
heartfelt but comical
your love is an animal
purely instinctual
hormones and chemicals
if you wanna get technical
your friends are predictable
divergent but typical
tag yourselves and listicles
facebook philosophical
you could be original
you could make all this change
But you don’t stay for the aftermath
And honestly I live for the pain
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3. |
Mmmnmn
03:30
|
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get very very anxious when i'm out on my own.
makeup, girl mode, i wanna go home.
but you've brought me to this bar so i'm out on my own for you
if i asked about your gameplan would you tell me the truth.
do you hate me? do you hate me?
i can see right through you.
i can see it in the way you sip your drink.
i've known you for a year
i think i know how you think.
now your drink is empty
the lights are low.
the open mic upstairs is winding to close.
i can't quite see your eyes
but it seems like you're crying.
if i told you i was sorry would you know that i was lying?.
i laugh when i'm nervous
giggle when i'm hurt.
i do care about your feelings
my responses are just weird at first.
put your head on the table and i don't know what to do
is this the kind of performance where the audience should interact with you?
there's a truth in every lie
and there's a lie in every truth.
i'm not saying this is fake
i'm just saying that it's thought through.
all i got are aphorisms
and anecdotes for you.
and if i say to trust me
i mean i don't have any proof.
my worldview's incoherent
my thoughts just ramble on.
i buy another coffee to keep my brain from shutting off.
if this is being here for you was it really worth the walk.
i feel like shit
you must feel worse
glad we had this talk.
i don't like it when you look at me
and i don't like it when you don't look at me
i don't like it when you talk to me
and i don't like it when you don't talk to me me
and i find it kinda funny in a funny sort of way
this coffee's really bitter but i've learned to love this taste
and i find it kinda hopeless in a hopeful sort of way
if you told me that you love me do you know what i would say?
you will never have closure
cause closure doesn't exist
you keep looking for a payoff
but payoff's for movies and comedy bits
reason is a narrative construct
and don't get me started on logic
so trust me when i tell you
you can't think your way out of this
|
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4. |
Surrender
03:05
|
|||
i'm writing this song instead of looking at your twitter
or looking through our old chats for cute photos of us
cause i did the right thing years ago and deleted all of you off my phone
but today i guess has just been one of those days
i went to the zoo
the zoo is a weird place
they put lions and tigers in northwest indiana
i went with my little cousin
and he liked the peacocks that were just walking around
that seemed to be his favourite bit
how is it going?
do you still want kids?
do you think this world is good enough for your children?
we're the sum of the mistakes our parents made
i don't wanna be happy
i just wanna know you're safe
i just wanna keep you safe
and i know that's patronising and you're doing better without me
i've just got some kind of complex and weird priorities
i'd be a god awful parent
and i think you'd be the same
imagine sitting in our kitchen
and trying to explain
mommy's alright
daddy's alright
we just feel a little strange
surrender
surrender
but don't give yourself away
|
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5. |
Don't You?
02:41
|
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night out with your partner and their friends
stuff yourself with drugs to try and skip to the end
big crowds, low lights, fast and hot
partner dancing but you're not
but drinks have kicked in the pheni 's started to work
and you see pretty person but you can't flirt
now you're all pissed off but it's no big deal
cause dad said this is just how relationships feel
on the bus home you keep your phone out of sight
partner sleeping on you thinking everything's alright
hit me with a text "is this as good as it gets?
i love 'em but i feel like i'm trapped in my own head"
let you know there's always at least one option
and my phone flashes up "but we've been planning for adoption"
you're thinking 'bout the future at history's end
is the rest of your life worth a single friend?
don't you wanna break up?
don't you wanna break up?
or do you wanna go through this again and again?
don't you wanna break up?
don't you wanna break up
with him / with her / with it / with them?
don't you wanna break up?
don't you wanna break up?
or are you too scared to be alone in bed?
don't you wanna break up?
don't you wanna break up?
or do you just love feeling like you're already dead?
and yeah i might be full of shit
in my stable relationship
but you're the one asking for my advice
|
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6. |
Turkey Mountain Road
02:50
|
|||
state roads and county lines
rebel flags and "pray for our nation" signs
every house we pass by
drive slow i'm taking in turkey mountain road like i never have before
like i never will again
breathe in the southern air
you're not going anywhere
the rivers and the lakes
the tree house we made
the owners of the stores
will stay here until they die
then their kids will take their place
always been this way
nothing's changed
well you know
except for me
it seems this hospitality
doesn't extend to anyone outside of this idea of normalcy
i can see the way
everybody looks at me
here I'll always be a boy
with makeup on her face
and i get it
if you wanna last for ever you can't change
city limits, county lines
road kill and jesus christ
oh how the time flies by
drive slow i'm taking in turkey mountain road like i never have before
like i never will again
|
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7. |
Isn't Anything
01:55
|
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What is love
I think love isn’t anything
What is hate
I think hate isn’t anything
What’s in-between
I think there isn’t anything
There isn’t anything
There isn’t anything
What am I
I think I am not anything
What are you
I think that you aren’t anything
What are we I think we aren’t anything
This isn’t anything
This isn’t anything
|
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8. |
Carpet Remnant World
03:27
|
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I’m tired of holding on
When I know you’re letting go
Staring at myself in the mirror
Trying on the clothes
That I wore through all the moments
That made me who I was
Telling myself they could still fit
I just need to stitch them up
Find some decent scissors
There’s no going back
Patch the shreds together
All the colors clash
My soul’s a tattered scrapbook
The songs of lovers past
A world of carpet remnants
It isn’t built to last
Our history isn’t static
Even if it doesn’t change
I found the notes you left me
And threw them all away
I can’t control what i'm given
Only what I make
I’m a memory of a memory
You wouldn't recognise my face
I am a disaster
Romance is a disaster
Friendship’s a disaster
And family is one too
But staying’s a disaster
And leaving’s a disaster
Cause love is a disaster
When it’s what I feel for you
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7HDI demos London, UK
Check out 7hdi.bandcamp.com for official releases!
DEMOS for the band 7 Hour Darkness
Invasion. Be warned, there's a lot of out of tune singing and out of time playing. These are essentially drafts of what I want the albums to actually be.
C/W: lots of stuff about blood/suicide/alcohol/trans issues
... more
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