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Disaster Demos

by 7HDI demos

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    w/ the dl you get some "bonus songs" including these hands 2020 & yvettroidvania but split up and also the 1st demo of carpet remnant world
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1.
5th cup of coffee First meal of the day Just home from work But the feeling doesn’t go away 11 11 Getting closer to hell There’s a burning right behind my eyelids I think my throat is beginning to swell I’m not doing so good right now I’m not really feeling like myself these hands are my mother's hands but scarred i say as if hers aren't reading the same life lines 26 years apart our homemade bloodstained art incongruent counterparts complimentary neuroses can you believe we've made it this far? ---- Gotta get my coffee before I can open the door Have you ever asked who these lyrics are for? I’d like to say they’re for me But listening back I really can’t agree Wear my cum stained jammies as I sip my drink Gotta guilt myself into moving or else I’ll just Sit and think and that’s not good Cause that’ll lead to me talking Shower, shave, and slip on all my pretensions Have you ever played with your genre conventions? Like the world is just yours to fuck Like your narrative comes before the people you love Feel my stats go up from the clothes I put on I fictionalise everything that goes wrong Into this neat little meta where I can game All my problems away Apparently I’ve got OCD So don't talk to me I’d like to say I’m trying But is this what trying feels like? A bullshit timesink roguelike? I don’t know So don't talk to me I'd like to say I'm living But is this what living feels like? A barren hardcore soulslike?
2.
i can't see your face cause it's pressed against theirs how long before you have to come up for air i hold my breath along with you just like a sister ought to do arbitrary solidarity rather than a chat tell myself that you wouldn't listen or that I don't have all the facts but i have something you don't have and i know something that you don't pain is a visual but i can tell your eyes are closed this doesn't seem like the first time but it's one of the first few lasts way to long to be something that you're used to your live studio audience friends scream "you are valid" and "fabulous" i guess welcome to the show have a drink on us but i know something you don't know and i got something you don't have pain is a visual but you can hear the aftermath when i get stressed enough i throw up so when i say you make me sick i mean that's just the way my body is and when i get scared enough i get clingy so if i tell you that i love you i mean you really need to listen to me there are a million different reasons why you should leave this one be there are a million fucking reasons why I'm getting this angy there are a hundred million reasons for me to up and leave but it looks like i'm staying here til morning pain is a visual the aftermath is audible cringe but relatable heartfelt but comical your love is an animal purely instinctual hormones and chemicals if you wanna get technical your friends are predictable divergent but typical tag yourselves and listicles facebook philosophical you could be original you could make all this change But you don’t stay for the aftermath And honestly I live for the pain
3.
Mmmnmn 03:30
get very very anxious when i'm out on my own. makeup, girl mode, i wanna go home. but you've brought me to this bar so i'm out on my own for you if i asked about your gameplan would you tell me the truth. do you hate me? do you hate me? i can see right through you. i can see it in the way you sip your drink. i've known you for a year i think i know how you think. now your drink is empty the lights are low. the open mic upstairs is winding to close. i can't quite see your eyes but it seems like you're crying. if i told you i was sorry would you know that i was lying?. i laugh when i'm nervous giggle when i'm hurt. i do care about your feelings my responses are just weird at first. put your head on the table and i don't know what to do is this the kind of performance where the audience should interact with you? there's a truth in every lie and there's a lie in every truth. i'm not saying this is fake i'm just saying that it's thought through. all i got are aphorisms and anecdotes for you. and if i say to trust me i mean i don't have any proof. my worldview's incoherent my thoughts just ramble on. i buy another coffee to keep my brain from shutting off. if this is being here for you was it really worth the walk. i feel like shit you must feel worse glad we had this talk. i don't like it when you look at me and i don't like it when you don't look at me i don't like it when you talk to me and i don't like it when you don't talk to me me and i find it kinda funny in a funny sort of way this coffee's really bitter but i've learned to love this taste and i find it kinda hopeless in a hopeful sort of way if you told me that you love me do you know what i would say? you will never have closure cause closure doesn't exist you keep looking for a payoff but payoff's for movies and comedy bits reason is a narrative construct and don't get me started on logic so trust me when i tell you you can't think your way out of this
4.
Surrender 03:05
i'm writing this song instead of looking at your twitter or looking through our old chats for cute photos of us cause i did the right thing years ago and deleted all of you off my phone but today i guess has just been one of those days i went to the zoo the zoo is a weird place they put lions and tigers in northwest indiana i went with my little cousin and he liked the peacocks that were just walking around that seemed to be his favourite bit how is it going? do you still want kids? do you think this world is good enough for your children? we're the sum of the mistakes our parents made i don't wanna be happy i just wanna know you're safe i just wanna keep you safe and i know that's patronising and you're doing better without me i've just got some kind of complex and weird priorities i'd be a god awful parent and i think you'd be the same imagine sitting in our kitchen and trying to explain mommy's alright daddy's alright we just feel a little strange surrender surrender but don't give yourself away
5.
Don't You? 02:41
night out with your partner and their friends stuff yourself with drugs to try and skip to the end big crowds, low lights, fast and hot partner dancing but you're not but drinks have kicked in the pheni 's started to work and you see pretty person but you can't flirt now you're all pissed off but it's no big deal cause dad said this is just how relationships feel on the bus home you keep your phone out of sight partner sleeping on you thinking everything's alright hit me with a text "is this as good as it gets? i love 'em but i feel like i'm trapped in my own head" let you know there's always at least one option and my phone flashes up "but we've been planning for adoption" you're thinking 'bout the future at history's end is the rest of your life worth a single friend? don't you wanna break up? don't you wanna break up? or do you wanna go through this again and again? don't you wanna break up? don't you wanna break up with him / with her / with it / with them? don't you wanna break up? don't you wanna break up? or are you too scared to be alone in bed? don't you wanna break up? don't you wanna break up? or do you just love feeling like you're already dead? and yeah i might be full of shit in my stable relationship but you're the one asking for my advice
6.
state roads and county lines rebel flags and "pray for our nation" signs every house we pass by drive slow i'm taking in turkey mountain road like i never have before like i never will again breathe in the southern air you're not going anywhere the rivers and the lakes the tree house we made the owners of the stores will stay here until they die then their kids will take their place always been this way nothing's changed well you know except for me it seems this hospitality doesn't extend to anyone outside of this idea of normalcy i can see the way everybody looks at me here I'll always be a boy with makeup on her face and i get it if you wanna last for ever you can't change city limits, county lines road kill and jesus christ oh how the time flies by drive slow i'm taking in turkey mountain road like i never have before like i never will again
7.
What is love I think love isn’t anything What is hate I think hate isn’t anything What’s in-between I think there isn’t anything There isn’t anything There isn’t anything What am I I think I am not anything What are you I think that you aren’t anything What are we I think we aren’t anything This isn’t anything This isn’t anything
8.
I’m tired of holding on When I know you’re letting go Staring at myself in the mirror Trying on the clothes That I wore through all the moments That made me who I was Telling myself they could still fit I just need to stitch them up Find some decent scissors There’s no going back Patch the shreds together All the colors clash My soul’s a tattered scrapbook The songs of lovers past A world of carpet remnants It isn’t built to last Our history isn’t static Even if it doesn’t change I found the notes you left me And threw them all away I can’t control what i'm given Only what I make I’m a memory of a memory You wouldn't recognise my face I am a disaster Romance is a disaster Friendship’s a disaster And family is one too But staying’s a disaster And leaving’s a disaster Cause love is a disaster When it’s what I feel for you

about

Adding songs as and when I do the demos for them
A lot of these already have demos but I'm trying to have fun with garageband and make some temporary arrangements so it's not just me and a guitar

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released April 23, 2020

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7HDI demos London, UK

Check out 7hdi.bandcamp.com for official releases!

DEMOS for the band 7 Hour Darkness Invasion. Be warned, there's a lot of out of tune singing and out of time playing. These are essentially drafts of what I want the albums to actually be.

C/W: lots of stuff about blood/suicide/alcohol/trans issues
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