1. |
New music
03:06
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i didn't mean for things to get this way again
i guess i thought i'd grow kinda naturally
i didn't see myself still in york
still suicidal
and still somehow living
well i've heard that that's enough
i've heard i should be proud to have made it through the year
but what does that say about my friends that i can't see cause they're no longer here
the heating's off and the wife's asleep
it's a cold house on a cold morning
i drink my coffee, i text my friends
i try to connect and i fail and try again
i'm don't mean to blame anyone
i'm not even trying to blame myself
i'm just saying sat stuck in this town
and all i can do is try to write my way out
i'm getting back to my roots
i'm jacking off in my room
i'm trying to write songs about
writing songs about writing songs about you
i'm tryna tell the truth
maybe not the whole truth
but as much as i'd like to think
that i used to think that i liked to think i ought to
i'm getting back to my roots
this is new music for an old sadness
this is better language for my so-called madness
i got trapped once
now it's happened again
and i'm running out of options
like i'm running out of friends
but i've got new music for this old sadness
a new course chartered by the same obsessive faggot
i got out once
i can do it again
and if i don't
well let's not think about that
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2. |
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i don't want to see you anymore
anywhere
anyhow
i'll just leave if you're around
i don't want to smell your perfume
i don't want to hear that sound
that you make
when you humour my jokes
i couldn't be more happy it's been so long since we spoke
but i see it over twitter
and i hear it from the friends
who you haven't gotten round to yet
Who don’t know how this ends
They act like you’ve been hurt
And need to get back on the scene
So when they tell me ‘bout your latest crush
I know victim is really what they mean
go find someone else
someone shiny and new
checking out the freshers
cause they haven't heard of you
You’ll protect them from the creeps
You’ll make sure to get consent
You’ll know that you’re not liable
If this all falls apart again
I wonder how it’s going
Now you’re trapped inside the house?
Partner working up the courage to ask you to help out
But you’re just a bit depressed
Or you just need your space
I hope they can see through you
Cause it’s always been this way
do you remember what we were?
Do you remember what you said?
do you remember the future we'd planned out in our bed?
it wasn't me trying not to cry when you don't come home
but it's not cheating if you tell me, I know
go find someone else
and get bored of them too
they won't bring up how it hurts them
if they know that you'll accuse them of abuse
in your room
with your new new partner
As if asking you to care
Makes you into a martyr
and really i'm not saying that the straights are any better
but you fuck up on a scale that they could never ever even
reach so god please
I just don't know what to do
cause when it always ends like this
The problem’s probably you
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3. |
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i've been down every street
in this godforsaken city
the sun is coming out but there's nowhere left to go
it's all roads i used to live on
it's all bars i've gotten bored of
it's all unfamiliar houses
of friends i used to know
who've found a better life in london
or just fucked off to leeds
or are still floating around
but not who they used to be
i wanna scream, the sun is bright
the air is warm, the ouse is cold
it's make new friends
and forget the old
i've being trying to write music
but like my dick it doesn't cum
it's more awkward than erotic
cause i'm bigoted and dumb
spending hours in my room
just playing with my hands
if i walk you through the process
would you try to understand?
i'm thinking genius annotations
before i write the lyrics
i've already lost my blood
now i'm haemorrhaging spirit
do you feel it? do you feel it?
as it puddles round your feet
this apocalypse is boring
but that's not what's killing me
i want to live
in a society
i want to talk to my neighbours
and support the local scene
but i'm a fucking tranny
and the gigs don't pay
maybe the north can't be saved
sitting in the park alone
getting through a beer
with sunset coming down
you know they last forever here
no new dawn, no goodnight
just a long lingering sigh
of a city giving up
while it's stripped of its insides
til it's hollow brittle bone
shaking underneath your feet
and when you fall it won't catch you
it's an ornamental piece
but there's still part of it left
you can smell it's rotting soul
the sun is bright, the air is warm,
and the ouse is cold
i am trying to get better
i am trying to be more
but it's hard to go outside
when the river's at my door
but inside it's all discourse
about so called mental health
if you tell me to see a doctor
i will kill myself
we're roleplaying support
another decorative scene
it's somewhere i could belong
as a plastic figurine
i am trapped in the doorway
i am drunk in a park
i could make new friends
if i owned a car
i want commercial
viability
just disaffected middle class crypto liberal things
i lay back in the grass
another normal day
maybe the north can't be saved
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4. |
Fuck the scene
02:29
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5. |
Theme
05:17
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In half my dreams I can't move
But even when I can I can't save you
And I don't know why I still try
I've been told you're doing fine.
You're pretty damn capable
But I think about you all the time
I found those notes that you left me
While rummaging around my old room.
And every conversation came back to me at once
I remembered every time you said I wasn't enough.
I tried, yeah I tried
But I maybe I shouldn't have
Maybe I made things worse
Maybe all you wanted was to not get hurt.
Oh I regret every minute I spent arguing with you
I'm sorry for all those phonecalls that stole our summer afternoons.
I just didn't realise that as things stood there was no hope
Should've listened to the newsboys cause then I would've known.
God ain't dead yet
I know that just seems like a pretty sad excuse
But if it's any consolation I'm not forgiving you.
I'll never forget being called pathetic
When I wasn't up for sex
Or when you defended your boyfriend
For calling me a faggot.
Holding on to my anger cause it feels like all I have
I still fantasise about murdering your dad.
Cause I know I can't make things better
I can't even make things change
But you always did want me to write you something
Gods not dead
he's surely alive
he's living on the inside
roaring like a lion
If I told you that I love you
Would you listen
Would you care
If I told you that I love you
Would you just stand and stare
If I told you that I love you
Would you smile
Would you cry
If I told you that I love you
Would it make you feel like you could die
If I told you that I love you
Would you realise you don't need them
If I told you that I love you
Would you walk away again
If I told you that I love you
Would you say that you love me
Would that be the end
Would you get out of my dreams
If I told you that I love you
Would you kiss me like you used to
God is an abuser who knows exactly how we think
And he's with us all the time keeping control of everything
Que sera sera
We never stood a chance
We'll never be enough cause that's not his plan
You still live with your parents
I still fall in love too fast
You're still fucking pretentious
I'm still a slow motion car crash
But one day we'll stop believing that we deserve this pain
Cause maybe God ain't dead yet but I swear I'll find a way
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6. |
Theme (crap version)
03:56
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In half my dreams I can't move
But even when I can I can't save you
And I don't know why I still try
I've been told you're doing fine.
You're pretty damn capable
But I think about you all the time
I found those notes that you left me
While rummaging around my old room.
And every conversation came back to me at once
I remembered every time you said I wasn't enough.
I tried, yeah I tried
But I maybe I shouldn't have
Maybe I made things worse
Maybe all you wanted was to not get hurt.
Oh I regret every minute I spent arguing with you
I'm sorry for all those phonecalls that stole our summer afternoons.
I just didn't realise that as things stood there was no hope
Should've listened to the newsboys cause then I would've known.
God ain't dead yet
There was always something up there that kept us down
He gave our suffering meaning so we let ourselves drown.
We tried to find our place in a system designed
To not let girls like us survive.
And sure without it this world would be anarchy
But that's the goddamn dream.
You and me
Doing our own thing
You and me
With room to breathe.
Why should bigots across the country have a say in my quality of life.
Why should HSBC determine whether I get to eat tonight.
Why can someone lock me in a cage until the day I die.
Why does anyone but me need to think about whether I should be alive.
God might not be dead yet
But he's not on our side
So together let's fight back
Against the divine.
Cause God is a cop
A judge
A politician
And this has all been said before
But it seems like no one's listening.
We don't need anyone looking down on us
We don't need a saviour cause fuck you we're enough.
Revolution when?
Oh revolution now
Steal a gun
Kill your landlord
Together we can take this fucker down.
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7. |
Cut my hair
04:17
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will have to transcribe these so watch this space
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8. |
No beach life
03:30
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firat datei took you to the beachh
with your hand in my hand
stared out overthe ocean
with our feet in the sand
then i whispered yr name
and uou whispered back mine
then the sky turned grey and it swallowed you up and i'm sorry
this
was all
just
another lie
theres no beach life
gods still alive
i just make shit up
i do it all the fucking time
i dont drink that much
my lifes not that bad
i donNt understand
why the fuck am i this sad
i won't kill myself
i just wish i had
think i kinda missed the moment
aren't you happy about that? /s
I want to dream
Just for a while
Of blue water, open skies
Sunset stretching out for miles
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7HDI demos London, UK
Check out 7hdi.bandcamp.com for official releases!
DEMOS for the band 7 Hour Darkness
Invasion. Be warned, there's a lot of out of tune singing and out of time playing. These are essentially drafts of what I want the albums to actually be.
C/W: lots of stuff about blood/suicide/alcohol/trans issues
... more
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